Monday, April 27, 2015

Free to be

Some weeks ago, I hung up my saddle and walked away from my work life in Human Resources.  I came to this profession through the back door, so to speak.  I had always been fascinated by human behaviors, and made my way into this work through organizational development.  After several years as a behavior management trainer and systems and procedures analyst / consultant, I moved to the world of employment within HR, progressing upward with increased responsibilities, making my way through the political minefield of corporate machinations.  I always found that a BFA was priceless, with its gifts of constructive thinking and creative problem solving, using the concept of building rather than tearing down.  During these many years, I never stopped painting, and felt fortunate that I could apply the concepts of my artistic life to my business life.  I had been told for eons that an artist cannot paint what he or she does not know.  After all these years, I am still learning.  I’ve made it a practice to learn at least one new thing every day.  Sometimes I learn from a flash of insight, and epiphany of sorts.  I had one of those moments within a week or so of letting go and walking away from my day job.  I was happy to go, pleased, in fact, to be able to choose my daily activities.  I’d been warned of the surprising fatigue that would find me in the early months of retirement and settle on my body, demanding inordinate amounts of sleep.  I had also been told that it would take me weeks to re-calibrate a routine…maybe even to feel good.  I found the fatigue – or should I say it found me – in a quite unexpected way.  My re-calibration has come in the form of setting my internal clock to more reasonable expectations.  I have had to reconnect with the luxury of a time clock that I set to match my mood, my needs, and my desires.

As I became aware of this reality, I decided to paint my way through it as an means of furthering my knowledge and understanding of personal freedom.  I call this painting Breaking the Chains…Free at Last.  
This is an emotional painting describing my feelings about leaving work after 42 years.  I have found it scary and unpredictable leaving that clock that has governed too much of my personal time.  Leaving the mental list of timely ‘must-dos’ has been difficult, but I’m working on it.  My next painting on this same topic is called Fifteen Steps.  
We’re all familiar with various forms of a 12-step program.  I found 15 days with 15 baby steps to the rest of my life was to be more truthful for me.  From the darkness of boundless tasks and indecision on what to do first comes cognizant thoughts of where I want to go and what I want to do.  This painting metaphorically depicts my journey, moving from that darkness towards a personally purposeful life.  I have paid my dues, and have helped a few people along the way.  Now is my time to bring me closer to my creative self, as I teach, guide, and encourage others to find their own creative selves.  I am committed personally to growing as a fine artist, painting daily, looking to life and nature for inspiration and growth. 

Won’t you join me as my journey continues…?

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